School just let out last week Friday; so here I am sitting in my living room, flipping through the channels to find something to watch. As I was going through the channels; I came across TRL on MTV. They were about to play the number one video of the day. The guy on the T.V. screen name is Carson Daily and he is the one that introduce the video to the wild crowd of teens in the audience. The number one video was Ja Rule ft. Vita & LiL’ Mo, “Put It On Me.” I never heard anything like this before. During the video, I was going nuts because it was the first time I had ever heard anything as sweet as music. After watching the video, I made up my mind that I want to be a singer and make my own music. So the next couple of days, you would find me sitting on my living room floor watching TRL. Doesn’t my life sound very peaceful, but it is not what it seems like. I cannot tell my dad because my older brother, Miguel, told me that the last time dad caught him listening to Biggie; dad threw him out his bedroom window and he broke his foot when he hit the ground. I am about to be ten years old; I doubt my body would be able to handle anything my dad could do to me. So I can’t tell my dad. My mom is very supportive but yet very weak and that truly is no help.
So for now, I am going to keep it to myself. Here I am midway through the summer. All the songs that were played on the TRL countdown, I knew them all by heart. Music had become the number one thing in my life. Night and days, I would dream about being in a studio or on stage performing a song. I started to take longer showers because most of the time I was daydreaming that I was a star. The excitement of my dreams was building me up; it sucks that I can’t tell anyone and also hides it from everyone. You are probably wondering; how I be getting away by watch TRL without anyone spotting me. I do not have to worry about my mom or my brother because they would not mind. My dad gets home a little after five pm, when TRL is done. I think that he might be a little suspicious of me because last week he was questioning me about why I stay in the shower for so long. I doubt my dad will ever catch me because I have been doing this all summer long and still have not yet been caught. If I could rewind the hand of time and take back what I just said; I would because one day my dad caught me, and it got real ugly. When I say ugly, I mean real ugly.
This is how it all happens: I was watching TRL and the new number one song was Ludacris, “What’s Your Fantasy?” Next thing you know, I heard the front door open but I didn't pay it no attention; I thought it was Miguel because he was outside playing with his friends. I looked out the corner of my eye to the left and there was my father. I froze. I felt all five of his finger on my head and you bet it hurt. I found myself curled up in the corner far away from the TV; I didn't know what to do. My dad is the type that doesn’t like to see you cry, or he will give you something to cry for; but if you are not crying then he will assume that he is not beating you hard enough and will continue. How do you cry without crying? I saw my dad saying something, but I couldn't make out completely what he was saying because I was still trying to recover from that hit he gave me. By time my senses came back to me, I realize that he wanted me out of the house. Without even hesitating, I got up and ran out the house.
I went outside and sat down on the steps; Miguel and his two friends, Tony and Rashawn, were playing three man footballs. Tony threw Miguel the ball and he caught it. Miguel notice that I came outside, so he walked over to me, "what are you crying about?" He asked me, "Dad caught me watching TRL and hit me." "You should be lucky that is all he did." Rashawn with his nasty attitude said, "What does the cry baby want," asking my brother. Miguel turned back to his friends and said, "He got in trouble with my father." I was not really like the conversation with my brother and I don't like his two friends. I just want to be left alone, so I decided to sneak back inside. I looked into the living room and my dad was sitting on the couch with his pants down, holding his penis in his hand. He seems to going up and down on it, so I peek around the corner some more and saw two naked females on the TV. I didn't know what to do next, so I just ran upstairs into my room. Should I tell my mom, what my dad was doing?
"Abandoned Star
Free to sing, free to live
Free to believe, free to accept
Free to dream, free to achieve
The Abandoned Star"
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